3 Places Not to Visit While Drinking
9/30/2020 by Chris Cobb
I’m sure I’ve made it quite obvious from previous posts that I am sober. Perhaps too often. I don’t really talk much about the humor of my drinking days, simply because of all the bad that outweighed the very little good there may have been at the time. But there’s one rule that I like to remember, Rule 62: “Don’t take yourself so damn seriously”. So just in case you’re growing bored with the usual post, I’ll talk about a few things that I still laugh about here and there. I’ll mention 3 unusual places I’ve woken up, or “come to” in. Maybe a couple may ring a bell for you. So let’s get on with it.
Unusual wake up spot # 3 – Face First in a Cow Pasture:
It was Independence Day, 2015. After a long day of drinking and fireworks, I wanted more. I’m standing outside in my yard when I hear fireworks from afar. I take off running to find them, then I black out. I wake up face first on the ground somewhere, look around, it’s dark out all the sudden. I also notice I am by a not so distant neighbor’s house, who owns cows. And then I realize I’m not in my neighbor’s yard. I’m in the cows’ yard. Having no idea whatsoever how I got here, my first thought is “Dude, where’s my car?” So rather than walking home (as if I knew how to get there anyway), I started looking for my car. I think I had walked around for a good 3 hours before I made it home, which was only a 5 minute walk from my neighbor’s house, but that’s sober time. So I get to my yard, and low and behold, my car. Sitting in the driveway, as if I had never even opened the door to get in… I go to the front door, peek in, my son’s mom is making dinner. I’m scared, half sober just wondering what had happened. “Did we fight? Are the cops looking for me?”… So I asked her. She told me “no nothing happened, you heard fireworks and took off running, you’ve been gone all day. I figured you went to your dad’s…”. So I didn’t fight, I didn’t drive, I didn’t kill anyone. Phew. If my memory serves me correctly, I’m pretty sure I ate dinner and went to bed without a shower that night… ehhhh let’s move on.
“WTF” moment # 2 – In a Ditch Covered with Chicken Feathers:
This one was probably about 14 years ago, I was 20. I had a tendency to argue and fight with my friends when I drank, especially at a younger age. This was one of those nights. I go to a friend’s apartment, get kicked out within minutes, fall over some trash cans, get into some stranger’s car to smoke the cigarette butts out of their ashtray, get the cops called on me, so I took off outta there pretty fast (on foot again). Once I make it to my other friend’s house after a narrow escape from possible drunk tank time, I start arguing with my other dude. This is the only part of the night I remember to this day. I black out yet again, then I open my eyes… It’s morning. I’m not at my friend’s house. Instead, I’m in a ditch about a quarter mile down the road. Covered in feathers. So out of natural curiosity and the safe feeling I get having a roof over me, I walk back to my buddy’s house. As soon as I walk in the door, his mother dies laughing. I’m covered head to toe in feathers. Even now, neither I, nor anyone around me that night (or so they claim) knows what happened to me that drunken evening. At least I wasn’t naked, until the next paragraph.
Crude Awakening # 1 – Naked Inside a 50 Gallon Drum:
Well, I’m not sure what type of humor you have, but to me, this is probably the funniest place I have awakened in after a night of drinking. So the night started like any normal, alcohol filled night. Friends, food, music, booze. Maybe a little pot. Anywho, there was the ole’ firepit, all of us sitting around it by the time the booze kicks in pretty good. Maaaan… Another blackout!? I can’t recall what time it was when I woke up, but it was pitch black outside, fire is no longer burning, I can tell I’m naked, and seem to have trouble moving around. I look up (or sideways I should say) to see the silhouette of my neighbor standing on his porch, seeming to watch me to see if I’m okay… As I finally manage to realize where I am, and crawl out, I stand up and look down. I’m next to the firepit, and was apparently inside a barrel. A 50 gallon oil drum. So I stumble into the house, lay down in bed, and call it a night / morning.
So there we have it. I’m obviously incapable of becoming a normal drinker, so I just don’t do it at all. More power to those who can hold their liquor, no judgement here. But do you have any similar situations as I have? Tell me in the comments! Until next time my friends.
I am sure you can relate to this blog story. Have you woken up in an odd place or drank so much alcohol that you simply FORGOT what happened? If so, we can help. Call us today for a private consultation for addiction issues. We are at 1.800.706.0318 ext 1
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