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No pain, no gain, right? Not when it comes to Bullying


No pain, no gain, right? Not when it comes to bullying.


It’s more than just the way you look physically, it’s more than the way you dress, it’s more than your hobbies, likes, and dislikes. It runs deeper than that, you feel it everywhere and it affects you so hard. Bullying comes in all forms and can occur almost anywhere. People from all over the world can all experience this pain, it is not just limited to one group of people or one race or one culture. The most common form of bullying will most likely be cyber bullying.

The internet is a vulnerable place and technology is the gateway to this place. Society almost depends on technology to stay on top of the newest gadgets and gizmos in order to please all users. It should not come as a surprise that in today’s society, social media has a hold on young adults and teenagers all over the world.

We are all guilty of judging someone too quickly before we even say “hi.” It is probably a natural instinct that humans have, it doesn’t mean you are a mean and horrid person, it just means you have brain and that is okay. I couldn’t even count how many times I passed someone at the mall, a concert, school, or even the grocery stores and immediately thought of something in my head. These things were not always negative, in fact 99% of the time, I thought to myself how good they looked or how awesome their tattoos were. That does not make me a horrible person. What exactly would make me a bad person? Well, if I immediately attacked them verbally and degraded them. This world is diverse for a reason. I for one never want to live in place where everyone is the same exact person. Having a first impression and a first initial thought about someone is not wrong, but degrading someone, criticizing them, making fun of them, that is bullying.  Here are a few tips for dealing with others the right way.

    1.  Keep an open mind!

Society is always changing and will continue to change. Everyone will be different in looks and personality. There’s nothing wrong with being able to share common interests with someone, but don’t put down others for liking something you don’t and vice versa. I understand that society has some sort of upheld image that we all must fit in order to be liked, but be your own kind of image. I’m not really sure who put someone in charge to create a standard for us, but we are not robots and we are all capable of being exactly who we want to be. If you have a type of friend that you normally try and engage with, expand that type. It is always okay to have different people as friends and no one, not even the most powerful person in the world can change that or tell you no.

     2.  Think before you speak

I know that this might sound like a foreign concept for some because a lot of people have no filter, myself included. However, some times in some situations, thinking before we act or speak is crucial. If you immediately start bullying someone because of the way they are as an individual, please think first. What exactly are you going to get out of degrading someone? How would you feel if you were the victim and no longer the bully? This might sound challenging, but if you just think of the final outcome before you ignite the flame, you might just feel a lot better and you won’t be a bully.

      3.  Be the bigger person

Have you ever been asked, “If you could be a superhero, what would your power be?” Not all heroes wear capes. In some cases, it is not so easy for someone to stand up for themselves when being bullied. Some people just don’t know how or are too afraid too do so. It will always be okay and a very courageous thing for you to step in. If you ever see someone being bullied in person or even online, it’s okay to interfere and help defuse the situation.  Don’t degrade anyone in the process of helping, even though you might think that the bully deserves it, that just makes you a bully too!

I know that it doesn’t always seem that the things we say can hurt someone, but they can. I understand this world is a very complicated place, but that’s why it is so important to be positive and kind. Everyone has bad days, but don’t take that out on other people. Bullying can be the start of a complete downfall for people and can end horribly. Think: do you want to be the cause of that? I would hope not.

    If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, anxiety, or bullying please reach out.

If you have let the negative words or actions of others keep you from pursuing your goals and you are feeling “stuck” in your life.  You need to break through the barriers that hold you back mentally and get to the next level. We can assist you with our Breakthrough Success Techniques.  Visit www.caliestes.com  or call Dr. Cali Estes, The Addictions Coach at 1.800.706.0318.






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